Fourth Standard: Kill Them With Kindness
You and the other party may have some serious disagreements. The fact that the other party is taking those positions out of spite or in denial of the facts may complicate your disagreements further. Certainly the harms, the abuse, and the infidelity of the other party in the past also makes it more complicated. Nonetheless just because you have a serious disagreement with the other party does not mean that you cannot be kind to them.
They say that “the best revenge is living well”. This is where that starts. Being anything other than kind to someone who you have no desire to be kind to is empowering. When you react without kindness-the other party wins. When you also take into account the judicial transparency addressed above, it actually does you a favor to have a track record of kindness. It certainly is much more difficult for the opposing party to ever label you as something otherwise when all of your words and acts are polite, courteous, and generous.