Common Family Law Struggles During the Holidays (And What to Do About Them)

The holiday season is often seen as a time of joy and togetherness, but for families in the midst of separation or divorce, it can instead be full of conflict and stress. While you’re trying to create happy memories for your children, disagreements over custody, visitation, and finances can quickly overshadow this festive time of year.

At Atticus Family Law, we’re dedicated to helping you create lasting, personal solutions that prioritize your family’s well-being. We understand the unique pressures the holidays can bring, and we’re here to provide the legal support and advocacy you need to handle them appropriately.

Custody and Visitation Problems

One of the biggest sources of holiday conflict often comes in the form of disputes over the parenting time schedule. Even with a court order in place, disagreements can arise over specific drop-off times, travel plans, or special family events.

Common issues include:

• Disputes over which parent gets the children on key holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving.
• Travel conflicts when one parent plans an out-of-town trip during their scheduled time.
• Scheduling overlap when extended family events interfere with the existing custody arrangement.
• One parent not following the agreed-upon schedule, causing frustration or disruption.
• Challenges in accommodating a parent’s last-minute requests for additional time.

What to Do:

• Review Your Parenting Plan Thoroughly: Your court-ordered parenting plan is your primary guide. It should outline which parent has the children on specific holidays. Re-read it carefully to ensure you understand the terms.
• Communicate Early and in Writing: Don’t wait until the last minute to discuss plans. Reach out to your co-parent well in advance to confirm schedules and logistics. Keeping communication in writing (for instance, via email or a co-parenting app) creates a clear record and can reduce misunderstandings.
• Be Flexible When Possible: While your parenting plan provides structure, a little flexibility can go a long way. If your co-parent wants to swap a day to attend a special family gathering, consider whether a compromise may be possible. Mutual goodwill can help foster a more cooperative co-parenting relationship.
• Focus on the Children: Always prioritize your children’s emotional well-being, recognizing that they want to enjoy the holidays without feeling caught in the middle of parental conflict. Part of this can include presenting a united front and speaking positively about their time with the other parent.

By treating parenting time conflicts with patience and intentionality, you can avoid many of the pitfalls that might otherwise arise.

Financial Disputes

Holidays come with extra expenses, from gifts and travel to special meals and activities. These costs can become a major point of contention between co-parents, especially if financial situations are unequal.

Common financial concerns can include:

• Disagreements over appropriate costs of holiday gifts for children.
• Confusion about who will cover travel expenses for holiday visitation.
• Disputes related to extracurricular holiday activities or events.
• Unequal financial contributions to joint celebrations or traditions.
• Tension over unexpected last-minute expenses, such as special meals or decorations.

What to Do:

• Set a Budget Together: If possible, agree on a holiday budget for your children’s gifts beforehand. This can help manage expectations and prevent one parent from feeling pressured to overspend.
• Clarify Shared Expenses: Your divorce decree may specify how “extra” costs are handled. If it doesn’t, discuss and agree on who will pay for what, like more expensive gifts or long-distance travel to see family.
• Keep Records: Track your holiday-related spending for the children. This documentation is useful if you need to request reimbursement or discuss financial matters with your co-parent or legal counsel.

Determining your holiday spending in advance and keeping track of it during the season can also help diminish potential conflicts.

Helping You Find Peace of Mind at the Holidays

Navigating family law issues during the holidays requires patience, communication, and strategic planning. By focusing on clear agreements and prioritizing your children’s happiness, you can minimize conflict and create a more peaceful season for everyone.

At Atticus Family Law, we empower our clients by integrating thorough legal representation with the supportive resources you need to thrive. If you’re struggling to find solutions this holiday season, we are here to help. Contact our team today, and let us help you create a clear path forward for you and your family.