Building a Family Through Love and Commitment: Valerie’s Fight for Her Daughter

A Narrative Story of LaChapelle v. Mitten, 607 N.W.2d 151 (Minn. Ct. App. 2000)

Valerie Ohanian* had always dreamed of building a family, and when she met Denise Mitten* in the early 1990s, that dream finally felt within reach. As lesbian partners in a time when same-sex couples faced significant legal barriers to parenthood, Valerie and Denise knew they would need to be creative and determined to make their family dreams come true.

In 1990, Valerie and Denise met with Mark LaChapelle* and his male partner to discuss an extraordinary possibility—creating a child together through artificial insemination. The four adults spent countless hours talking through the complexities of their arrangement, ultimately agreeing that Mark would donate sperm for Denise’s artificial insemination, while Valerie and Denise would raise the child as their own.

Initially, they signed an agreement stating that Mark would have no parental rights and wouldn’t be held responsible for the child. But as they continued planning, Valerie felt it was important for their future child to have a connection to Mark as well. In May 1992, they signed a second agreement that felt more balanced and loving—Valerie and Denise would have physical and legal custody, while Mark and his partner would maintain a “significant relationship” with the child.

When little L.M.K.O. was born on January 4, 1993, Valerie’s heart overflowed with joy and love. This precious baby was everything she had hoped for, and she embraced motherhood with her whole being. She and Denise petitioned for adoption, and when the court granted it in September 1993, Valerie felt secure in her legal relationship with her daughter.

For the first year and a half of L.M.K.O.’s life, their unconventional family arrangement worked beautifully. Mark visited regularly, maintaining his connection with the child, while Valerie and Denise provided the daily love, care, and nurturing that L.M.K.O. needed. Valerie treasured every moment—the late-night feedings, the first smiles, the tentative first steps, and all the precious milestones of early childhood.

But in August 1994, everything changed. Valerie and Denise made the difficult decision to terminate Mark’s visitation with L.M.K.O. Valerie felt this was necessary to protect their family unit, but she didn’t anticipate Mark’s response. He moved to vacate the adoption, alleging fraud because they hadn’t disclosed their agreements to the court. Valerie watched with growing anxiety as the legal foundation of her relationship with L.M.K.O. began to crumble.

When the court vacated the adoption and Mark filed for paternity, Valerie felt her world spinning out of control. The child she had loved and raised as her own daughter suddenly had no legal connection to her. Mark was adjudicated as L.M.K.O.’s biological father in June 1997, and while Denise retained interim custody, Valerie found herself in legal limbo—a mother without legal recognition.

The situation became even more complicated in spring 1996 when Valerie and Denise’s relationship ended. Despite their personal difficulties, Valerie’s love for L.M.K.O. never wavered. When Denise requested permission to move to Michigan for employment reasons, Valerie felt a deep sense of panic. Not only was she losing her partner, but her daughter might be moving hundreds of miles away.

Valerie knew she had to fight for her relationship with L.M.K.O. In a leap of faith and determination, she petitioned the court for custody. Many people questioned whether she had any legal standing—after all, she wasn’t L.M.K.O.’s biological mother, and she had never been married to Denise. But Valerie believed that love and commitment, not just biology, should define family relationships.

The legal proceedings were emotionally exhausting. For months, L.M.K.O. lived in Michigan with Denise while Valerie and Mark alternated visits—one month flying to Michigan for three or four days, the next month having L.M.K.O. fly back to Minnesota to visit them. Each goodbye at the airport broke Valerie’s heart a little more, but she never gave up hope that the courts would recognize the depth of her bond with L.M.K.O.

The custody evaluation process was thorough and sometimes painful. A guardian ad litem was appointed to represent L.M.K.O.’s best interests, and Valerie opened her life to scrutiny, knowing that everything she had built with L.M.K.O. was at stake. She had to prove that her love and commitment were real, that her relationship with L.M.K.O. mattered, and that she deserved to be recognized as a parent.

When the trial finally took place in February 1999, Valerie felt a mixture of hope and terror. She had spent years fighting for the right to be L.M.K.O.’s mother, and now everything depended on the court’s decision. During the proceedings, something remarkable happened—the parties reached an agreement that Valerie and Denise would share joint legal custody of L.M.K.O.

The court’s final decision brought Valerie both relief and validation. While Denise received sole physical custody (conditional on returning to Minnesota), the court awarded joint legal custody to both Valerie and Denise. For the first time since the adoption was vacated, Valerie had legal recognition as L.M.K.O.’s parent. The court found that this arrangement was in L.M.K.O.’s best interests, acknowledging the important role Valerie had played in the child’s life.

When Denise appealed the decision, challenging Valerie’s standing to seek custody and the award of joint legal custody, Valerie felt her familiar anxiety return. Would the appellate court understand that families come in many forms? Would they recognize that parental relationships can be built through love and commitment, not just biology?

In March 2000, the Minnesota Court of Appeals affirmed the trial court’s decision, and Valerie felt an overwhelming sense of triumph and peace. The appellate court ruled that Minnesota law did allow non-parents to seek custody under certain circumstances, and that Valerie had proper standing to petition for custody of L.M.K.O. More importantly, the court found that awarding joint legal custody to Valerie and Denise was in L.M.K.O.’s best interests.

The court recognized what Valerie had always known—that she was L.M.K.O.’s mother in every way that mattered. She had been there from the beginning, participating in the decision to bring L.M.K.O. into the world, caring for her as a baby, and maintaining their bond even through the most difficult legal challenges.

The appellate court’s decision gave Valerie the legal recognition she had fought so hard to achieve. She now had joint legal custody of L.M.K.O., with the right to participate in major decisions about her daughter’s education, healthcare, and welfare. The court had validated her belief that families are built through love, commitment, and daily acts of care—not just through biology or traditional marriage.

Through this long and challenging journey, Valerie learned that fighting for your family sometimes means taking risks and challenging conventional definitions of parenthood. The court’s recognition of her parental rights empowered her to continue being the mother L.M.K.O. had always known her to be, while also establishing important legal precedent for other non-traditional families.

Valerie’s victory represented more than just her individual case—it was a recognition that love makes a family, and that children benefit when all the adults who care for them are legally empowered to participate in their lives. The court’s decision gave Valerie the peace of mind that comes with legal security, knowing that her relationship with L.M.K.O. was protected and that she could continue providing the stability and love her daughter deserved.

*This story is based on the true facts of the appellate court’s decision, but the personal experiences and emotions described are a fictional representation to bring the case to life.

Question: Can a same-sex couple both be legal parents if they aren’t married?

Answer: If a same-sex couple isn’t married, only the birth parent is automatically considered the legal parent. The other partner can become a legal parent by signing special paperwork, adopting the child, or going through court processes.

Marital status affects the presumptions of parentage. The marital presumption of parentage in section 257.55 applies when a child is born to a spouse during marriage. If a same-sex couple is not married, the non-birthing partner does not enjoy that presumption. Parentage can still be established by consent and formalities. Under section 257.75, a biological mother and another person may execute a recognition of parentage that has the force and effect of a paternity judgment for purposes of support. Historically, recognition of parentage forms were limited to a mother and a “putative father,” but Minnesota amended the statute in 2023 to allow a “woman who gave birth to the child” and “another parent” to sign a parentage recognition. The non-birthing partner may also adopt the child through a step-parent or second-parent adoption, which confers full parental rights. In the absence of marriage or an adoption, the non-birthing partner’s claims depend on equitable doctrines; Minnesota courts have been cautious in extending parentage absent statutory authority. See LaChapelle v. Mitten, 607 N.W.2d 151 (Minn. Ct. App. 2000) (non-biological mother had standing to seek visitation based on a contract but not on parentage).

Question: If a child is born to a married same-sex couple, are both spouses legal parents?

Answer: Yes, when a married same-sex couple has a baby, both spouses are automatically considered legal parents and can both be listed on the birth certificate. This happened after Minnesota made same-sex marriage legal in 2013.

After Minnesota legalized same-sex marriage in 2013, the marital presumption of parentage became gender-neutral. Minnesota Statutes section 257.55, subdivision 1(a) now provides that a person is presumed to be a child’s parent if they were married to the person who gave birth at the time of conception, birth, or within 280 days thereafter. Consequently, when a child is born to a married same-sex couple and the non-birthing spouse consented to the conception (typically through assisted reproduction), both spouses are legal parents and entitled to have their names placed on the birth certificate. In addition, section 257.56, subdivision 1 specifically states that a spouse who consents to assisted reproduction with their spouse is the parent of the resulting child. This statutory scheme ensures that children born to married same-sex couples have two legal parents without the need for adoption.