Preparing for Divorce Before It Starts: What to Do If You Think Your Spouse May File

It’s a question we get all the time:

“I think my spouse is considering divorce. What should I be doing to prepare?”

It’s an important—and wise—question to ask.

Preparation is valuable in every walk of life. And when it comes to divorce, being proactive now can significantly improve your legal, emotional, and financial footing later.

Here’s where we recommend you start.

📘 1. Get Informed—Right Away

The first step is simple: get our divorce guide (and custody guide, if relevant).

These aren’t just brochures. They contain some of our best legal insights, explained in clear, layperson-friendly language. If you’re feeling unsure, anxious, or overwhelmed, these guides will give you structure and clarity.

Even if you can only read it during lunch breaks or at your sibling’s house—read it. You’ll be glad you did.

👨‍👧 2. Align Your Parenting Time With What You Want in Court

If you’re hoping to have equal parenting time, you need to start living like a 50/50 parent now.

That means:

• Prioritizing nights and weekends with your children
• Scaling back workaholic habits or side gigs that interfere with parenting
• Being visibly and practically involved in their daily lives

Judges don’t assign parenting time based on what you say you want—they look at what you’ve been doing.

Now’s the time to make sure your current behavior reflects the custody arrangement you’ll be asking for.

💰 3. Get Smart About Your Finances

You’ll need to understand:

• Your income and expenses
• Your retirement and investment accounts
• Where your financial documents are kept

Gathering this information now does three things:

1. It helps you set goals and clarify priorities
2. It allows your attorney to build your case faster and more effectively
3. It prevents you from being caught off guard if your spouse starts moving money or restricting access

If you’re not “in the know,” this is the time to change that.

🏥 4. Get Involved in Your Kids’ Education and Health

If you’ve relied on your spouse to manage school or medical care, that needs to change—now.

• Log into your kids’ school portal
• Review teacher notes and grade reports
• Get access to MyChart or other health portals
• Stay informed about appointments and medications

This shows the court (and your future co-parent) that you’re engaged, reliable, and involved.

⚖️ 5. Document Efforts—and Resistance

If your spouse blocks your access to finances, school accounts, or health info, that matters.

It shows that you’re not just uninformed out of apathy—you tried to engage. If they refuse, that refusal reflects poorly on them, not you.

Even if they later reverse course, they’ve already signaled that they don’t intend to co-parent or share transparency—which the court may view as a red flag.

❤️ 6. For Spouses Who Don’t Want Divorce

Some of you reading this may not want the divorce at all. If that’s the case, this preparation still helps.

Because it gives you clarity about where your relationship really stands.

Ask for access to financial info or parenting resources. If your spouse blocks you, that may be the signal you need to update your expectations and accept that the relationship you miss is no longer mutual.

It’s hard. But it’s also empowering.

🛑 7. Don’t Start Making Big Financial Moves—Yet

Some people in this situation are tempted to:

• Buy major assets
• Transfer money
• Prepay expenses
• Pull cash out of joint accounts

While we understand the instinct, you need legal advice first.

Moving money can backfire if it appears retaliatory or suspicious. There may be better strategies that protect your interests and your credibility.

Cash is king—but only if managed wisely, with the help of an attorney.

🔍 Final Thought

Preparing for divorce doesn’t mean you’ve given up on the marriage.
It means you’re protecting yourself, your kids, and your future—just in case.

At Atticus Family Law, we help clients plan with clarity, compassion, and strategic precision.

If you’re in the uncertain space between maybe and now what, let’s talk.

Get the guides. Know the facts. Ask the right questions. And prepare the way your future self will thank you for.