Surviving the End of Your Relationship
Did you know that breaking up from a serious relationship is known as the second most traumatic life experience after the death of a loved one? So, it’s not surprising that the hurt and pain felt seems to linger on and on, well after the actual split.
Here are 6 techniques and strategies that you can use to help you grab back control of your life and that will help you to cope better with the end of your relationship.
Create Your Legal Support Team
Having a carefully selected support team around you will greatly reduce the amount of overwhelm and worry you feel. This team may include your divorce attorney, a financial advisor, a therapist/life coach, and maybe even a mortgage lender, and realtor. We can provide recommendations for these professionals who we trust to help you.
Learn How to Take Back Your Control
It’s normal to feel powerless after your break-up, especially if it wasn’t your decision to end your relationship. It’s important to realize that you own the remote control to your own mind and can decide how you react. Take your time to respond to emails or text messages, reply when you are ready. Don’t rush into making decisions, especially large ones that will have an impact on your future.
Be aware of what you are telling yourself. Statements such as “I’ll never love anyone like that again,” or “I’ll never recover from this,” are limiting beliefs and once you have them you will be looking for evidence to back them up in your own mind. Recall those times when you have successfully overcome difficult things in the past. Since then, you have moved on and had other relationships so now you have proof that you CAN do it. Just recognizing that you have survived a break-up before will help you to survive this one.
Shake Things Up
There is an old saying: “If you keep on doing what you have always done you will always get the same results.” This is so true. If you keep on doing the things you did with your ex, but alone, you will exaggerate the sense of loss. Take a fresh approach to as many areas of your life as possible. You will be surprised at how small changes will make such a huge difference to how you feel.
Get Out of the House and Keep Busy
It’s normal to want to stay in bed and wallow in self-pity. And the truth is it’s okay to have days like these, we all need them. However, it’s important to make sure that life goes on and you don’t succumb to the temptation to stay in more now you are single. Plan and schedule things to do on your calendar so that you stick to them. If you find it tricky to commit to doing things on your own, then plan to do them with a friend.
Write Your Thoughts and Feelings Down
A good way to process your break-up is to write down how you are feeling. It helps to empty all your emotions and thoughts and declutter your mind. It may help to write down keep a diary of events that happen daily, write poems to express how you are feeling, or write letters to your ex which you never send. It’s a good way to rant and let out your true feelings without compromising your position, as your ex will never know. Writing is a very therapeutic way of releasing negative emotions so try some of these ideas to find out what works best for you.