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Dec 29 2021

How to Tell Your Children You Have Decided to Divorce

There is no getting around the fact that your divorce will be hard on you and your spouse, but the rocky path forward may be even more difficult for your children to navigate successfully. Children do not have the emotional maturity to separate themselves from this very adult matter without internalizing much of the pain. Finding the best way to tell your children that you have decided to divorce does not look the same for every couple, but there are some basic guidelines that can help. If you are moving forward toward divorce, turn to the professional legal counsel of an experienced Minneapolis divorce attorney. 

Present a United Front

Psychology Today addresses the delicate matter of telling your kids about divorce, and it has several important tips to help guide you. While you and your divorcing spouse are very likely not getting along famously, you should prioritize putting aside your differences when you share the news with your kids – in an age-appropriate way that lets your children know your love for them is as strong as ever, and that assures them they are in no way the cause of the rift. 

Speak to Your Children as a Group

While you may have to share more or less information with your individual children (in response to their ages), it’s a good idea to speak with them all at once to begin with. This helps to reinforce the important idea that you remain a parenting team and that your family remains a family unit. Further, you don’t want to burden your individual children with a sense of shouldering responsibility. 

Avoid the Blame Game

Your children love both of you and don’t need to know who is at fault for your impending divorce (even if fault is an issue). Feeling resentment toward your soon-to-be-ex may not be avoidable, but it isn’t necessary – or even appropriate – to share this with your kids. One of the most important ways you can support your children during your divorce is by honoring the fact that your divorcing spouse is their other parent and channeling your negative feelings into the legal process. 

Tell Your Kids How Their Lives Will Change

Children lack the maturity and insight to understand the overarching themes and consequences of divorce, but they will be concerned about what your divorce is going to mean for them and their day-to-day lives. Keep all of the following in mind:

  • Let your children know that your goal is for their lives to change as little as possible and commit to making this happen. 
  • If you will be able to remain in your family home with your kids and/or they’ll be able to continue attending their current schools, reassure them on this point. 
  • Let your children know that your divorce will not alter their relationships with their grandparents, other close relatives, loved ones, and friends. 

Seek the Experienced Legal Guidance of a Dedicated Minneapolis Divorce Attorney Today

The accomplished Minneapolis divorce attorneys at Atticus Family Law have the legal savvy and insight to help you find the right answers for you throughout the divorce process. For more information, please don’t hesitate to contact us today.

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