KIND Communication for Co-Parents

If you’re a divorced or divorcing parent, you know how difficult it can be to communicate effectively with your child’s other parent. There’s no shortage of opportunities to criticize each other, complain about current circumstances, or argue about the past.

Many co-parents have found that maintaining a certain structure around their communication is helpful. In the most contentious situations, people communicate through their attorneys. Many other parents use co-parenting apps. Some have a regularly scheduled meeting to discuss their children while others don’t mind random calls, texts, or emails.

While knowing the appropriate mode of communication is helpful, it’s also a good idea to maintain rules around the content of your communication. After all, that’s where the conflict can happen. Thankfully, there’s an easy acronym to guide your wording, and that acronym is KIND.

KIND stands for:

Kid-Centered:  Ensure any messages sent to your co-parent are about your children. Focus on their feelings, needs, or schedules, and refrain from general criticism, pointing to previous marital issues, or personal opinions.

Informative:  Convey important information to your co-parent. This is the reason for the communication. What is it they need to know?

Nice:  Naturally, you’ll want to avoid rude or aggressive messaging, which can quickly derail a conversation. Don’t forget to say “please” and “thank you” when communicating with your co-parent.

Direct:  Stay on-topic and be as clear and concise as possible. The fewer words you use, the less opportunity for a contentious co-parent to twist them against you.

Communicating in a KIND manner can take some practice, but it’s worth the effort. Re-reading your communications to check for KINDness before sending can save time and preserve peace of mind by reducing the risk of future conflict. KIND co-parents enjoy more productive relationships because they focus on what’s important while maintaining their manners.

If you’re a client of Atticus Family Law and you’d like some assistance practicing KIND communication, schedule a call with the Client Coach, Tara Eisenhard. Learn more about her and our Client Coaching services by clicking here.