The Top Five Ways Children May Be Harmed by Un-focused Parenting

Part One: Parents do not support their child’s relationship with the other parent by:

• making the child feel as if the child must choose between them or “take sides.”

• failing to show respect for the other parent.

• questioning the child about the other parent’s activities or relationships.

• making negative remarks about the other parent or the other parent’s family, or allowing others to do so, when the child can hear them.

• allowing the child to decide whether to go with the other parent for the scheduled parenting time.

• discussing what led to the parents’ separation with the child or with others when the child can over-hear.

• inappropriately using or requesting supervised parenting time.

• failing to allow an infant or a child of any age to develop a relationship with the other parent.

• inappropriately preventing or restricting the child’s contact with the other parent.

• posting inappropriate photos, videos, and comments about the other parent or the other parent’s family on social media.

• sharing information or documents with the child about the parents’ legal, financial, or other disagreements, including child support or what is going on in court.

Part Two: Parents do not support consistency in their child’s life by:

• dropping in and out of the child’s life.

• failing to show up on time or at all for scheduled parenting time.

• failing to follow through on agreements about changes to the parenting time schedule. o failing to follow through on other commitments or agreements regarding the child.

• interfering with parenting time because child support has not been paid.

Part Three: Parents do not communicate positively with each other by:

• using their child as a messenger, spy, or mediator.

• using disrespectful language.

• asking the child to keep secrets from the other parent.

• failing to communicate with the other parent in a timely way.

Part Four: Parents do not support peaceful transitions for their child at the parenting time exchanges by:

• engaging in arguments.

• showing a hostile attitude.

• making negative remarks or gestures to the other parent.

• engaging the child in extended good byes.

• bribing or guilting the child not to go with the other parent.